NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
