She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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