Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
