i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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