she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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