It's Friday. Sex?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
babies were throwing up all over the place
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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