1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
