i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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