There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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