I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
