We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
