She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
