She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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