Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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