Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
