he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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