Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
