honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
