but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
