I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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