One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
