Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When did angry sex become our thing?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I need to calm my uterus...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
