Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
