I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
