I saw his package. It spoke to me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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