For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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