Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
