What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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