Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize