why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
