Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
