random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
