I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
