Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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