I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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