I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
