Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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