I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
