ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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