he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
