North Korea, Best Korea!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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