she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
