I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
