bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
