dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
