I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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