What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
