ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
