I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize