I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
