I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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