Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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