how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
