I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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