WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
