you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize