we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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