I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
it was like eating out sand paper
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
