Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
