she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
