you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize