sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
