So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
