never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
