Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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