sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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